Mothers of Design: Designing careers, caring for others, and finding our own way

By Maria VanDeman, Director of Design Strategy & Host of The Imagine a Place Podcast

This was not just another panel about design or the workplace. It wasn't stuffy, formal, or forced. It was a group of people coming together around a part of life that is foundational to so many of us, yet rarely talked about at work: motherhood.

Recently, I moderated a panel hosted by IIDA Tennessee, “Mothers of Design: Calling in the Double Shift,” in Knoxville, Tennessee. Three design leaders joined me for a candid conversation about building careers they love while raising families they love, and navigating all of the ambition, responsibility, joy, pressure, and messiness that comes with both.

As an ambitious professional and mother of two young children, this conversation was very personal. It was empowering to hear other women talk openly about their own experiences and to recognize that our lives at work and at home aren't as separate as we sometimes pretend they are. The empathy, adaptability, leadership, and care required in one can make us better in the other.

And perhaps back-to-school season is the perfect time for this conversation. As calendars fill with projects, travel, school schedules, practices, pickups, and everything in between, I'm reminded that the people designing spaces for others need support, wellbeing, and connection too.  Healthy places start with healthy people. If we want to create environments that help people live and work better, we also need to care for the people imagining them.

There were many impactful moments from the panel and conversations that followed, but I’m highlighting three that have stayed with me.

One of my favorite moments of the night was towards the end of the event, and someone from the audience encouraged us to simply look around the room and recognize the community of designers and IIDA members there to support one another.  It was a beautiful reminder that community is there, but we also have to show up, get involved, and allow ourselves to lean on it.

Julie Dalby, Studio Director at Lauderdale Design Group, spoke about what that support looks like day to day, “ Showing up and showing out for one another every single day… to support one another because you never know what somebody's going through and what their personal home life needs may be.”

The support also extends beyond our professional community.  Barbie Thomas, district sales manager with OFS in Knoxville, stated, “ I think having a partner that can respect and understand your work is just as important…  There's no way you can do it by yourself.”  Whether among peers or at home, having people in your corner makes all the difference.

Careers and families have seasons, and our capacity and priorities naturally shift with them. Recognizing those seasons doesn't mean letting go of ambition or lowering our aspirations. It means that different parts of our lives will need more from us at different times.

Kelly Reynolds, Principal and Vice President at Johnson Architecture Inc, spoke about what that balance can look like through the small things: “ You can be successful in work and be successful as a mother and as a spouse. It really just takes the balance to get there… For me, it is prioritizing consistent small things with my family.” 

Heather Dodd, an interior designer in Knoxville, Tennessee, similarly encouraged us to become comfortable setting boundaries and saying no when needed. She reminded us “that there are seasons and there are times where motherhood might require a little more, or work might require a little more. It's not that one thing gets completely neglected. They're both moving at the same time.”

I love that perspective because it doesn't ask us to choose between ambition and family. We can continue moving toward all that we want for our careers and our lives while recognizing that different things may take the lead in different seasons.

As an adoptee and mother of an adopted child, I firmly believe that the qualities of parenting and the desire to care for others are not attached to biology. Caregiving can take many forms, from raising children to mentoring, teaching, advocating, and making space for another person to grow. As a design professor who has taught more than 7,000 “academic children”, Milagros Zingoni, Professor at the School of Interior Architecture, University of Tennessee, Knoxville, College of Architecture and Design, described it beautifully: “ motherhood is about the women in someone else's life that is invested in their emotional wellbeing and success and life beyond the responsibility that we have in the moment.”

Christina Fehr Brooks, Partner and Licensed Interior Designer at GAE Architecture + Design, shared how those qualities can carry into leadership. She described how motherhood “opens your heart up [and] cracks it wide open.”  She brings that empathy and care to her team, helping them “understand the process and the journey, and not just the end result.”

And those qualities don't stay in one part of our lives. Empathy, patience, advocacy, adaptability, and helping others grow can make us better leaders and colleagues, while the problem solving, communication, and resilience we develop at work can support how we care for others at home. However caregiving shows up in our lives, the skills we gain through caring for others can make us better at the work we do and the people we are.

The Mothers of Design panel in Knoxville made me grateful for the honesty in the room and for the reminder that so many of us are together in the balance.  We need people around us who understand our personal and professional seasons, and we need to give ourselves and each other a little grace along the way. Caring for the people who design our world matters, because healthy people are better able to create healthy places.

As another school year begins, that feels especially relevant. Life is getting busier in our house, and I know the fall will move quickly.  I hope you’ll listen to the full Mothers of Design episode of Imagine a Place podcast to hear more from these incredible women I’ve quoted.  I’m carrying this conversation with me as a reminder to be present, lean on my community, and appreciate the season I’m in. Our work and our lives shape each other, and there is something really powerful in allowing both to make us better.